Monday, May 20, 2013

Hand-holding is not a dirty word

Today, I feel the need to repeat this post I originally created in February of 2008. It bears repeating.


I think, after being flat-on-my-back sick over the past three days that I deserve one good rant, so here goes:

Lately, I keep hearing phrases like these:

"We don't have the staff to offer all of the hand-holding that bride Z needs." 

"Bride B requires so much hand-holding, I may have to start charging a premium." 

What irritates me more than what's being said, is who's saying it, the same people who are quick to tell a bride: "You don't need a wedding planner. We offer day-of event coordination. All you need is a 3-ring binder and this list of vendors we've compiled." Then when bride Z gets into the throes of her planning and discovers that she has many questions and the 3-ring binder isn't answering back, she calls and emails them multiple times per day, then the frustrated person on the other end of the line (or email) snaps: I'm sorry, but we're not wedding planners. We're a caterer and a venue and a florist and a DJ and a videographer, and we also sell favors and invitations, and you require the kind of handholding we just can't offer. Why don't you call a friend?"

I admit that not all weddings need a wedding planner as one noted, and wealthy, wedding planner once said, but all brides need someone to hold their hand. Someone who can listen to talk of her wedding 24/7 and not say she's "over it". Someone to share or rather relieve the angst when the mother of the groom invites 200 people more than the venue can comfortably accommodate. Someone to absorb as much of the stress as possible, so it's not on her face when she walks down the aisle. Someone to measure the dance floor for the tenth time. Someone who loves weddings far more than their bottom line.

And I'll say this now before I take another Sudafed and collapse on my couch, and hear me when I say it. You have to know when you need help and not be persuaded by the friendly sales rep at the venue who has a chip on his shoulder regarding wedding planners because when you call him at 10 o'clock on a Sunday night, because you're concerned about x, y and z, he's going to tell you to call a friend.


Susan Sanford said...

Great article. That is so on the nose.

Brittany said...

That post made me laugh--it is so true! I am all for wedding planners because it is HARD to plan a great event. It's important for a planner to be a hand holder and not "over it"!

lacochran's evil twin said...

I have always been pro-hand-holding. Unless there are sweaty palms involved.