Sunday, July 29, 2007


Did you hear the one about the best man who stood up and gave a completely inappropriate toast? Of course you did; we all have. I started to write this post about the “dos and don'ts” of a wedding toast. And it made me think about all of the weddings that I've attended over the years and all of the inappropriate toasts I have heard as a result. There was one wedding in particular that I attended as a guest, where the groom's sister got up and said: "Congratulations bro! I still can't believe you've gotten married before me." Or the one where the best man stood up and said to the groom: "It has been an honor to be chosen as the best man for all of your weddings" (thanks for letting that cat out of the bag, buddy). It was then that I put on my amateur psychologist hat and tried to figure out what is at the root of all of these inappropriate toasts, and I came up with feelings. Feelings of inadequacy, feelings of envy, feelings of loneliness, feelings of loss, and on and on. Of course, since people who are inebriated almost always give these inappropriate toasts, it seems to lend credence to the saying that "alcohol speaks truth." Although, a lot of times these feelings are false; however, in an emotionally charged environment like a wedding, a few glasses of the signature drink later, and they spill forth as TMI to uncomfortable guests, who aren't sure whether to feel embarrassed for the person making the toast or the couple receiving it. The cure? Well, don't ask me, I'm not a psychologist. However, I will say this, before you raise your glass to give a toast, examine your feelings - about the couple, the occasion, marriage, and your current relationship (or lack thereof) - and if there's any negativity in there at all, make sure it does not show up in your toast. Remember, the best wedding toasts are touching, poignant, personalized, and sometimes, maybe even a bit humorous. If you don't think you could pull that off then I would suggest you raise your glass and say "Salud!" Or say nothing at all. And try not to get inebriated.

1 comment:

Rael said...

Yup, most wedding speech writers half imagine in fright that their task needs them to think like psychologists and mind readers. Far from it. It simply takes some bit of heart for this couple and enough time. More wedding toast ideas here, plus videos.